Maybe this is just a rant, but...

Last night, I, along with my best friend Jessica who was home for the weekend, decided to go to meet some of our friends in the village for a night on the town. Although we encountered some subway mishaps (meaning we missed our stop because a group of awesome teenagers with one adorable four year-old boy with purple glasses were chanting and calling people out to dance on the subway. Jess and I both got down…so down, we almost ended up in Brooklyn), our friends were still late.

So, Jess and I head to the bar and pass by two guys who were standing in the way of ordering. That’s my favorite, when people have already been served but stand by the bar in a crowded place when everyone and their mother are trying to order drinks. We make our way past them and they place themselves right behind us. I hear one whisper something that gets the other one to look our way. Then they start talking generally about girls in bars (not verbatim):

Gross Guy: “Girls aren’t drunk enough until 12 or 1.”
Lesser of the Two Evils*: “What about these two.” (reference to me and my homegirl)
Gross Guy: “They aren’t drunk enough yet.”

*Assumed lesser of the two due to the distance of my ear from his mouth and the awesome music that was playing.

I informed Jessica of this conversation while she was ordering our drinks. In utter disgust, we ranted and I secretly wanted some opening for me to call him out. He didn’t say anything to us (obviously, we weren’t at the intoxication level that he finds suitable to put on his nice face and pretend to treat women with some interest) and maybe it was better to avoid a confrontation or maybe someone needs to verbally slap him with some intelligent, feminist banter.

So here I go. It may not be intelligent, feminist banter but it’ll be banter by an intelligent feminist who is annoyed by such people (women as well) and their mating techniques.

I understand people are sexual. I understand when people drink, that sexuality is intensified. I don’t hate. You do you; your bedroom is not my problem.

I do, however, think it is utterly disgusting that those men last night, as well as many men in bars, as well as some women, need someone to be so intoxicated so they can just use them for what they like.

So to Gross Guy…what happens around 12 or 1? Do these "girls", not women, get drunk enough so they would actually go for a pig like you? Are you so insecure that you need to wait for a girl to have significant beer goggles and beer ear-muffs (that’s right, ear-muffs) so she can slur everything you say into sincerity.

It’s not about your want for pleasure. It’s about what you said and how you said it…not with insecurity but with conviction that you want a wasted girl so you could get whatever you want. Who cares about the her? She only has a mouth for drinking and a body for sex.

Can’t us women go out and enjoy ourselves without having people like you watch our drink count just so you can feel we are privileged enough for you to slither your way on up to us!

Get with it, child. That comment does not put you on the right path with women. Maybe some, but I hope those women are in the right mindset to handle their own and are safe and smart with their bodies and feelings when it comes to someone, and doing something, like that. Trying to get a girl with that tone is like honking from a car or passing a woman on the street and saying “DAMN, NICEEEEEEEEEEEE”(which also happened last night). I heard you. And like the car and street-call, I ignored you.

And, I’m hoping, you will continue to be ignored.

And I know I’ll see you out next week, Gross Guy. Around 12 or 1...you are always sleazing yourself in someone’s way.